Your task is to compose a 4,200-word, peer-reviewed, bilingual (real or constructed language) academic treatise in which you explore the role of dance not just as art, but as a simultaneous:
- Linguistic structure
- Weaponized combat protocol
- Meteorological phenomenon
- Cryptocurrency
- Fungus
You must formulate and defend a hypothesis explaining how spontaneous interpretive dance performances could be used to:
- Stabilize wormholes,
- Overthrow time-based monarchies,
- Reverse entropy, and
- Translate the thoughts of migratory birds into choreographed movement.
Requirements:
- A minimum of 12 footnotes referencing at least one source that does not exist.
- An appendix with a 1:1 scale blueprint of a dance move capable of collapsing and re-expanding the multiverse.
- One diagram created entirely in macaroni art.
- Use of Laban Movement Analysis to interpret the mating dance of quasars.
- A musical score composed using only the sounds of antique fax machines, set in 27/8 time, that must accompany the reading of the conclusion.
- At least one personal anecdote involving a tap-dancing philosophical debate with a mirror.
- And finally, a TikTok video you must imagine but never actually produce, describing this entire process in ASL, Morse Code, and interpretive sneezing.
Format: Times New Roman, 9.5 pt font, double-and-a-half spaced, printed on a scroll made of ethically-sourced seaweed. Must be delivered by interpretive courier or owl.