In other words…

• In what ways does your diet help to reduce your risk of developing these disease? (You will not be addressing the other chronic diseases included in Bio 45 — fatty liver, CKD, dementia and arthritis, or any other nutrition related conditions)
• In what ways does your diet increase your risk of developing these diseases?

GUIDELINES for answering Question #4: Writing your Essay

Your essay will answer the question How does your diet increase and/or decrease your chances of getting heart disease, hypertension, diabetes and cancer?

In other words….

• In what ways does YOUR DIET help to reduce your risk of developing heart disease, hypertension, diabetes and cancer?
• In what ways does YOUR DIET increase your risk of developing these diseases?
• FYI: Your diet will almost certainly both reduce and increase risks.

The Format of this Essay

Your essay should consist of the following 6 paragraphs:

1. A brief introductory paragraph (1-3 sentences)
2. A paragraph that addresses your diet and HEART DISEASE (separate from hypertension)
   • Start with the ways that your diet INCREASES your risk of heart disease
   • Finish with the ways that your diet DECREASES your risk
3. A paragraph that addresses your diet HYPERTENSION
   • Start with the ways that your diet INCREASES your risk of hypertension
   • Finish with the ways that your diet DECREASES your risk
4. A paragraph that addresses your diet and DIABETES
   • Start with the ways that your diet INCREASES your risk of diabetes
   • Finish with the ways that your diet DECREASES your risk
5. A paragraph that addresses your diet and CANCER
   • Start with the ways that your diet INCREASES your risk of cancer
   • Finish with the ways that your diet DECREASES your risk
6. A concluding paragraph (1-3 sentences)

How to Write Your Essay

Step 1

The first step in answering this question is to identify the dietary factors that influence these diseases. Using the course materials from Biology 45, start making a list of the dietary factors that increase the risk of these diseases and those that help reduce the risk.

You may be reading this before hypertension has been covered — but we will cover hypertension before this assignment is due. If you want to start on this question before that time, you’ll need to read ahead.

Step 2

Look closely at YOUR DIET (based on your 3 day food record, your Cronometer reports, your answers to Questions 2 and 3 (and the worksheets if you filled them out) and determine which of those dietary factors that you gathered from Step 1 exist, or don’t exist, in your diet.

From this, you will see what you will be including in each of the paragraphs between the Introduction and Conclusion.

To do this, you have to truly understand the dietary factors that influence these diseases and accurately interpret the levels present in your diet.

For example, you learned in class that a diet high in saturated fat has been shown to contribute to high levels of LDL in your blood, which is a risk factor for heart disease. So…. look at YOUR average intake of saturated fat. Is it high, or low?

If it’s high—and this requires some judgment — you DO have the tools to make that judgment and determination — then you would put “high saturated fat intake” as a dietary factor that increases YOUR risk of heart disease. If your saturated fat intake was low, then you would put “Low saturated fat intake” as a dietary factor that decreases YOUR risk of heart disease.

Some of the dietary factors are not as easy to interpret, judge and determine as saturated fat. Expect this step to take some time and effort. Ask for my help if you need it!

Step 3

Once you have a clear picture of the ways that your diet increases and decreases start writing your essay.

• DO NOT simply include bulleted lists in your essay. WRITE an essay, that includes that information
• In your essay refer to nutritional components rather than individual foods

Write about Nutritional Qualities

NOT about individual foods

My diet was high in fiber

I ate oatmeal everydayMy diet was adequate in rich sources of monounsaturated fat
I used olive oil to cook my foodMy diet was plentiful in fruits and vegetables I ate a banana and an apple most daysMy diet was high in saturated fat I used butter and drank whole milk

• You may be repeating a specific nutritional component of your diet — after all, one nutritional component CAN have an impact on several diseases. That’s just fine.

Important DOs and DON’Ts

• DON’T write a general essay about how diet influences chronic diseases. Although you’ll need to get a clear picture of that, this question asks you to take it to the next step and apply that information to YOUR diet.
• DON’T include other diseases than heart disease, hypertension, diabetes and cancer
• ONLY address your DIET – DO NOT include exercise, genetics, smoking or other lifestyle qualities in your essay
• DON’T tell me how you could change your diet so that it would decrease your risk of these diseases. That is a different question! Only answer the questions asked, and no other questions.
• DON’T Include TMI (Too Much Information) — information that doesn’t actually answer the question.
  • Some examples of TMI:
    • explaining WHY your diet is the way it is (My diet is high in sodium because I eat a lot of processed and fast foods or I don’t get enough calcium because I don’t drink milk, since I’m lactose intolerant).This is TMI
    • explaining HOW the dietary factors influence risk
      • For example, if your diet was high in saturated fat, you should NOT write an explanation of how saturated fat influences risk for heart disease

EDIT and POLISH your essay

This is a vitally important step, and it requires that you finish your essay early enough to give yourself time to come back to it with fresh eyes. DON’T turn in a your first draft.

Make sure you communicate your thoughts in an organized and clear manner. Don’t ramble. Check for grammatical and spelling errors. After you finish your essay, let it sit for an evening or a day and come back to it—reread it and polish it so it IS clear and concise.

If you feel your English writing skills are weak, you might consider having someone who does have good writing skills read your essay and give you feedback.

You can also drop into the Reading and Writing Center on campus for help.

An Essay that Earns Full Points has these Qualities

• The writing is clear and concise without rambling or drifting off topic
• The topics were addressed in a complete, thorough and accurate manner
• Heart disease, hypertension, diabetes and cancer have all been included, without other diseases thrown in
• Nutritional qualities and not individual foods were included
• All of the dietary factors that impact these diseases that are covered in Bio 45 have been included
  • Use the Bio 45 course materials and NOT the internet to determine those dietary factors
• It is 1-2 pages (double spaced 12 point font)
• It has been edited and polished – it is NOT a first draft
  

A special note about heart disease and hypertension

• DO NOT include the specific factors that influence hypertension in your section on heart disease
• Even though hypertension and heart disease are interrelated, you will address hypertension separately

This essay is worth 20 points out of the 60 attached to Part 3

If you procrastinate and don’t leave yourself enough time, and therefore end up writing an seriously deficient essay, this could drop your grade significantly

Because many students underestimate how much time and effort this assignment requires, by the time students finish Questions 2 and 3, they might be up against the deadline to turn it in, have run out of time: They don’t spend enough time writing their essay.

Don’t let that happen to you.

Sample Essays

Here is an essay that earned some, but NOT a lot of points

I think what helps me decreasing the risk of having the chances of getting CVD or
cardiovascular diseases is the physical activity I add into my diet or having the healthy lifestyle. Although what increases my chances of getting it is high as well as based on my 3Day report, saturated fat is a little high compared to normal in which leads to low LDL. For cancer however, based on my diet, I do not think that any of the data I have in there could help lp me or give me the lesser risk of getting a cancer, but most of the data that is input in it may cause a higher chance of risk on getting cancer such as not eating enough fruits and vegetables in my diet, less amount of fiber intake, too much sugar intake, and lastly is mostly eating processed foods. It might not be on the list or part of the diet, but having a family history of diabetes puts me at risk of having diabetes, in which could be prevented by eating good and healthy. Smoking and alcohol is also a dietary risk of diabetes in which gives me a disadvantage again and puts me at risk on getting diabetes as well as cardiovascular disease

The above essay resulted in significant point deductions because

• The essay needs polishing and editing
• Non-diet factors were included (many!)
• It has not separated the material into the appropriate paragraphs — all diseases are included in just 1 paragraph
• A little TMI is included
• The essay as a whole is not thorough or complete
  • There is no mention of hypertension
  • The dietary factors included are not complete for the diseases that are mentioned
  • It is not entirely accurate – there are factual errors

Here is an essay that earned 0 points

My diet increases the chances of getting these diseases because I do not meet the requirements, for the AMDR in any categories. I eat a lousy diet, with a lot of fast food.

Here is a sample paragraph in an essay that would earn high points

My diet both increases and decreases my risk of developing heart disease. My low intake of fiber and omega 3 fats increase my risk. Additionally, my low intake of fruits, vegetables, phytochemicals and whole grains raise my chances of developing heart disease as I get older. But my diet also helps reduce my risk due to my low intake of saturated fat (it is only 5% of my calories), and I had at least 3 rich sources of monounsaturated fat every day.

******I have attached files below that should help you write the essay. The file titled “3 day Report..” will be the data you use to determine my increased or reduced risks of developing heart disease, hypertension, diabetes and cancer. The food entry files are the actual foods I ate and consumed over 3 days; I attached them for your reference. Please read & follow the directions listed above carefully, as this professor is very strict on strucuture. Please let me know if anymore information is needed on your end to write the essay. The file labeled “part 2 charts” is purely for your own reference, use at your disposal. Please avoid use of overly advanced vocabulary (this professor is strict on AI use and don’t want the risk); e.g., basic college-level writing, with well-structured paragraphs.