How did the Kurdistan Region both sustain and develop its diplomatic relations with European countries, especially Germany and France, during two pivotal moments, the ISIS battle and the 2017 Independence Referendum?

My feedback is as follows: You repeat certain ideas too much, such as the role of Peshmerga forces, the humanitarian crisis, and the distinction between paradiplomacy and protodiplomacy. You can streamline this to improve the content and avoid overloading each section with the same information. For example, the role of Peshmerga forces is discussed multiple times in different sections (introduction, literature review, theoretical framework). If you explain this thoroughly in one section you won’t need to repeat it so many times Many sentences are overly long and complex, making them difficult to read and loses its meaning. You definitely need to review the entire paper and try to use concise sentences and avoid using excessively long sentences. You focus heavily on the Kurdistan Region’s perspective, but your thesis could benefit from a more balanced discussion of European countries’ motivations and constraints. Which you can have in the literature review and we can plan for the discussion chapter as well. While citations are necessary, you sometimes rely too heavily on them without providing original analysis. For example, the literature review often summarizes existing studies without critically engaging with them or connecting them to the research question. There is also a significant lack of direct quotations. You can also benefit from being more specific in your writing and using more examples There are minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing throughout the text. It is very important to make sure that each chapter relates to the research question, and that there is an element of critical thinking and analysis especially in the second and third chapter. my professor feedback