Edit <final draft> based on this feedback. Please make these changes while also referring to the sample and guidelines provided for additional help and direction. By following these guidelines, you can improve the clarity, depth, and originality of your paper.
Feedback on Your ENGH 302 Conference Paper
Introduction
Move 3: You have two purposes listed in your introduction. Please choose one to focus on to maintain clarity and coherence.
Body
- Direct Quotations: You have too many direct quotations. When you do use direct quotations, ensure you include the page number. Aim to have only 1-2 direct quotations in your paper.
- Indirect Quotations: Convert most of the direct quotations to indirect quotations. This will help integrate the sources more smoothly into your own writing and demonstrate your understanding of the material.
- Your Voice: Ensure that your own analysis and commentary are prominent throughout the paper. Currently, there are too many quotes, which can overshadow your own contributions.
- Different Perspectives: Incorporate different perspectives to enrich your analysis. You can refer to other academic sources to provide a more comprehensive view on the topic. Review the sample and guidelines provided for more ideas on how to diversify your sources.
Conclusion
- Recommendations: Focus on providing clear and actionable recommendations based on your findings.
- Implications: Develop the implications section further to explore the broader impact of your findings and recommendations.